Whenever I find a viable source of supply (eg “friendships”) I always wait for the clock ticking down until the time bomb is about to explode. This is the true life of the non NT, the psychopath, the sociopath. We often don’t have long lasting bonds with others. Seek, search, destroy. Not that it is always intentional, but it is always inevitable. It’s a waiting game. I can always mimic, but never embody what it takes to form a true bond. There are a few exceptions to these rules, but they are not the norm. I wonder how long my current supply will last. I am a heavy drinker and often become sloppy when I drink - lack of impulse control > what feels good > masking. I played matchmaker last week with a few of my “buddies” and we will see how this goes. I group and desert. I was mostly angry that I got so drunk I wasn’t able to successfully get laid the other night - I was sloppy in my game due to drink. I was impatient and irritable that I didn’t get what I want when I wanted it. However, my other target - my main target I should say, that game is coming along nicely. Patience is on my side in that case. I can’t wait for that time bomb to explode. Until next time.
no offense but my favorite hobby is staying hydrated and beautiful
It cracks me up when the actors on a show are also the producers because I always picture them casting themselves like
"Who’ll play the main character? Ah yes. Me."
u can’t beat the monuments men
umm excuse u
don’t mess with the Polar Express
I conflate guilt with feelings of ‘man I fucked up this parasitic relationship and I’m upset that my feeding source is gone’ so probably not. Especially for harm done against those I will never know.
The second point goes into the concept of altruism which I don’t believe exists. If I’m exerting more than a minimal effort to help someone there must be something in it for me.
I’ve been thinking a lot about how humans constantly fail one another. I keep few acquaintances because invariably humans are worthless in the long run. It’s all a matter of what one can get before another shows that they provide no lasting benefit.
Everything is inconsequential. That would include human relations. I typically like to have a band of admirers, but that’s just my narcissism speaking… I only care about relations with those who make me look better, anyways (if they don’t already provide some kind of financial, sexual, or just slight pure relief from boredom that is). They’re all superficial relationships, but aren’t all human relationships really superficial anyhow?